1. Parang starts playing non-stop from October.
When you start singing “Leroy, where yuh mudda gone, she gone parang.”.
2. Courts starts giving away free ham and grog on their Christmas deals.
Bring. Out. De. Ham.
3. When you have more sorrel in your fridge than anything else.
Yuh want some sorrel or wah? EH?!
4. Poinsettias are being sold faster than ham.
Start buying them before you’re stuck with the dregs.
5. Devouring your granny’s black fruit cake.
6. Forgetting how strong your granny’s black fruit cake is.
7. When your mom hands you the first ham and hops.
The real MVP.
8. Your parents had a few drinks and start thinking they’re Daisy Voisin & Baron.
And then you have a few drinks and decide to join in.
9. Painting the house and varnishing furniture before Christmas.
10. Spending two days to help make pastelle.
11. Journeying through the hills of Paramin to hear real parang.
Make sure that truck has four wheel drive.
12. When the radio station’s switch from parang to soca on Boxing day.
Vybz cyah done.